Winter

There's always something mysteriously beautiful in every season.

As for now, it's winter.

Although it's still autumn-ish.

My first autumn and winter.

It's absolutely stunning!

Anyway,
The day has finally arrived.
I am not sure if I am going to keep this blog active.

But for now...
I shall leave this space here..
As I contemplate if I want to keep this active

Cloud nine

You swept me off my feet.

Leaving me on cloud nine, when I say yes lets do this.

Lets do us.

And see where this take us to..

Y

Right thing

Pancakes

Pancakes for dinner.

Cravings satisfied :)

First successful fluffy pancakes.

Somehow I had more failures in the kitchen in Malaysia as compared to here..

It's indeed a good feeling when you can do little things like that for yourself:)

Come here

Cause the wait is worth it 

C:

Homecook food

After I've handed in my final report/assessment for this semester,

My friend and I decided to experiment in the kitchen..

And fill our stomach with homecooked food.

I've taken a liking to prepare meals for myself.

Cause the process and the outcomes are usually darn satisfying.

 Avocado prawn salad

 Roast chicken + avocado prawn salad + sweet potato fries

 Korean pancakes + leftover roast chicken

And we gave ramen a shot.

We made japanese roast pork (char siu)

Drooling yet?

 Also make the broth from stratch. 

Had to cook it overnight.

Tonkotsu ramen broth and ajitsuke tamago (marinated soft boiled egg)

Tedious process but the outcome is so good.

And now you can drool :P

I also tried making scones for the first time.

By the second time I attempted at baking scones,

I've figured how to control the thickness of it.

It was crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy in the inside

I've had this recipe in my mind for sometime now.

So I experimented it and it turns out good:)

I called it Breadcrumbs Aglio Olio

Back in Malaysia I can hardly get a chance to experiment in the kitchen.

My mom is always hovering over me criticizing every little things I do in the kitchen.

Yeah that's my mom for you.

Hence I came here with very limited cooking skills as I usually gave up trying to experiment in the kitchen back in Malaysia

I think I am getting better at it

My housemates and friends have always been my tester

Also I actually find cooking enjoyable. And baking.

Who would have thought?

Clinical placement begins next week!!! C:

I know I've been updating lesser since I've gotten here.

I'll try to be a bit more diligent with that.

Bitter sweet

The airport.

Such a bitter sweet place to be at. 

A place for both hellos and goodbyes. 

But sometimes we will bid see you later instead. 

Till then I am here, waiting :)

See you soon?

Two days

Sometimes, somethings are worth the wait.

Two days.

:)

I remember

I remember the rainy days when we stayed in

The look of joy when we had a cuppa

What I remember most is the feeling of familiarity

But now I am reacquainting myself to how it was like before we met

I think I am doing quite well

Because isn't this what you want?

Batman

Batman jumper and batman lunchbox.

Grinned to myself at the sight of it.

If only..

Never say goodbye?

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting" (J. M. Barrie; Peter Pan).

Because that was once our pact.

We didn't went through with it.

And I've gone away but I am not forgetting.

Being here

"A wise man told me that the reason we more to new countries is because we are either running from or running to something. I laughed and thought he was crazy. I just wanted a change; there was no rationale to my choice. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. I wasn't just running from something, I was sprinting as far as I could."

So what if I am sprinting.

Because at the end of the day, I wanted the change and I needed the change.

There are some things people that I miss back there,

But I don't think it matters anymore because some change,

albeit painful is necessary.

Things sure are different right now.

Something is missing.

But I guess slowly I am trying to get acquainted to the missing piece,

And fill the missing piece with hopefully, a better piece.

Cause everyday it gets better right?

Source:

10 things about living abroad

Hello

Hello!

I know I've not been updating alot since I got here..

It has been one month since Malaysia.

I don't miss Malaysia and this place feels more like home as the days passed.

I noticed the vast difference of being a postgraduate student as compared to being just an undergrad student.

I like the change.

I am so glad that I am here :)

Postgraduate

My first semester as a masters student begins tomorrow.

How I feel about it?

Nervous?

And obviously excited!

So yeah I am hoping for the best :)

Positive thoughts!

My orientation was pretty formal.

It certainly shows there is a differences between being an undergrad student and a postgrad student.

So this is it.

I am a postgrad student.

LIKE REALLY!?

There have been a lot of settling in to do..

And I am adapting and still learning to adapt.

This place that I am in is pretty foreign.

I don't really think about home that much

(except for my dog, Snoopy since whenever I see dogs around I'll think of him and the late Vicky)

The late Vicky..

Did I really just say that? 

(Not sure if it's because I am spending so much time settling in and taking in the new environment) 

Anyway,

It's tomorrow!

HAH!

"It'll only get tougher from now on." (Reg, 2014)

"You'll be alright." (PhD student, 2014)

Housies

Today the group is complete

Together we make one diverse group.

We came from Malaysia, Singapore, East Timor, Philippines & Japan.

They are my new family :)

Hello there!

Hello peeps!!!

I know I've been MIA for a bit..

I have been busy settling down,

Getting to know the place, the transport system, and getting stuff for my new home.

I came here with very limited cooking skills.

I probably know how to prepare pasta and those English breakfast kind of food,

But when comes to rice with dishes, I have to say,

I am still learning how to prepare those sort of food.

This is my first time moving out.

It's exciting but at the same time, I am quite nervous (in a good way).

Anyway, I quite like it here and doing things independently although I am slowly figuring out things.

My housies are such wonderful people.

They have been so helpful and since I'm new here and know nobody,

I am really grateful to have them to answer my questions.

The Australians are very helpful too,

Always are willing to answer my questions.

So yeah,

Just a quick update.

I am good :)

This is it

This is it.

I've finally done finalizing stuffing things into my luggages.

Tonight is my last night being in my comfort zone.

Soon...

I will be bidding goodbye and build a new beginning.

The last three weeks has been wonderful.
Just becauseeeeee :)

Wish me luck.

Snoopy

Vicky's absence has been a pretty painful event for us at home.

The silence has been screaming back at us.

My sis began to hunt for a puppy..

Despite of my dad being reluctant to get one again,

We got it anyway..

I present you Snoopy; a miniature poodle; the new addition to the household.

He's nothing like Vicky.

He's extremely clingy!!!!!

Super smart too (not to say Vicky's stupid)..

And like most puppies, cheeky.

That bugger.

But since we got him yesterday he has been such a joy.

We still miss Vicky dearly.

But we know that he wants us to be happy.

We are still grieving..

That doesn't mean that we are not ready for another family member.

Some people may think it's to soon,

But for us, having Snoopy around helps us to move on.

Welcome, Snoopy.

I think I am in love with that little furball..

28.1.2014

Tribute to Vicky

The loss of a loved one (love one) can be pretty devastating.
But what comes next is the deafening silence.
Nobody informed me about that.
So when Vicky is gone, all that is left is the emptiness and silence at home.
Someone is missing,
Since he has to go to the better place.
At least that is what I wholeheartedly hope and wish.

Vicky has bring me so much joy throughout the years.
I remember how hard I've worked and how long it took to persuade my father to get me a four legged companion.
I was elated (more than elated) when my father finally caved in and got me one.
I still remember vividly when I first saw him at the breeder.
It was such a mischievous cheeky little thing.
My mother said, "That one looks energetic. I think you should pick him."
He was the dog who wouldn't sit still for you to pat it as it is ALWAYS up to something.
From the day I brought him home, I know his middle name is trouble.
My high school friends had a heck of time running away from his ferocious way.
He met the high school sweetheart and attacked the person as he doesn't like the person.
Sends some bad signal there obviously.
Then he met the first lover.
And he fell heads over heels for him as he tailed him everywhere he went. 
Giving him that look as if to say "Please please pat me, pretty please."
He sends some good signal there.
He met the ones who betrayed me and attacked them.
He knows what is best for me before I even realized it myself.

He WAs my ultimate companion, my protector, and my family.
For the past 9 years plus, he was the first one I bid good morning to and last one I bid goodnight to.
Most of all, the first name I call when I am home.
"Vicky I am homeeee." That's how it'll go everyday.
During the times where I crammed for my finals, he was there to keep me company.
He was there waiting for me to get back home from a long day and from a trip.
Sometimes when he was being ignored by me just because I was too caught up with my life,
He will wait for me to get back to him.
He spent his life waiting for me to get home, waiting for me to come back to me, and waiting for me to love him.
I love him with all my heart.
I am always busy but I know I can come back to him and he'll be there.
And it broke my heart whenever he got sick.

I didn't expect this day to come.
I know he's old.
I even joke about him being old.
I even noticed that he can't walk far anymore.
And he spent more time sleeping since he gets tired easily.
One day when he stopped eating.
We thought perhaps he'll get better soon.
Two days passed and he's still not really eating.
We got concerned.
Brought him to the vet, took his medication.
He still didn't recover.
Still wasn't eating.
Went to a different vet.
Did a blood test.
Found out that he has a kidney failure.
Vet said he doesn't  have much time left.
He couldn't recover anymore.
That is when I began to try to grasp the idea of losing him.
It was a bitter reality and it still is.
During his last moments,
We were there.
He held on although he needs to go.
He held on so we could say goodbye to him
Then he left.
He left forever.

I told him, that I'll see him again one day.
Somewhere in that better place or anywhere.
At least that give me a sense of comfort.

Today is the first day since he left.
He left yesterday noon (12 ish).
I came back home to the deafening silence.
I woke up to the deafening silence.
I didn't know grief feels this way.
For I know death is part of life.
Only thing I know is that I have not grieved for anyone before him.
So this hit me hard. 
So hard.
Vicky taught me how to love unconditionally (as cliche as it may sound).
He taught me to always come back because he will be there.
In his ways he told me not to leave.
I will never leave him.
He taught me to be patient.
Most of all, he taught me to appreciate what I have.

I really miss you, Vicky.
But we will be fine here.
Go to the better place.
Because I hope to see you there one day.
I love you.

"Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day." (John Grogan)

25.1.14

A lover's past; Lang Leav

Source

To love is a dare,
when hope and despair,
are gates upon it hinges.

Lang Leav

One month

Exactly a month from today,

I will be leaving this place that I've been calling my home for the past 22 years.

Happiness

Yes, I am happy.

Scarily happy for someone so cynical.

Not that I am not happy before this.

I guess now I am happy happy :D

A reader

Source

What is left

What is left are the memories in the form of words.

Or what has been long embedded into my brain cells.

Just like the words, it will fade.

I am still trying to preserve it.

It's easy since it's still raw.

Perhaps, with time..

It'll get easier to stop preserving it.

The unspoken promise has to be broken.

Just because..

Sinking in

It's a week into the year.

It's slowly sinking in.